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Wednesday, February 02, 2005 ► 11:32 am
Gonna write crap again hope all those readers will not fall alsleep hor kekex hai yo haven even stared to write me already toking crap here le ok now i shall get into the main point liao ... feel so sorri and guilty omg i find myself so slefish and bad man i hate myself so much i don noe wat am i think about there suc a person who loves me so much but yet i don noe how to cherish i am so tupid ...i make him feel so sad and stress this few days argh i am veri bad hor haiss don noe how to say le la sorri sure no cure de.. no matter how many sorri and wat i say also no use liao i feel mysekf being so stupid stupid stupid such a gd relationship is in my hand but i don noe how to get hold of it oh i am lk a witch man make him feel so sad and stress over and over again i think he muz be veri distapointed wif me de haiss an say also no use liao but wat can i do other then saying out there is nth else i can do le i am so usless man argh.... JEANIE CHONG HUI YI U ARE SO UNLESS i wan to make him happi but always in the end i became making him sad now cry no use de so me not gonna cry....i hate myself for being tat but there is no choice ... sometimes i feel lk giving up but i don wan cause i realli do not bear i noe tat he also because of me having been trobleling this few days .... everytime when we were going back home actually i wanted to walk home wif him de but juz don noe y there is something which is always telling me not to then at the moment i step into the lrt then i will feel veri regret for doing tat at tat point of time how much i wish tat time could reverse back so tat i can make the right choice.... i noe tat i spend almost all of my time wif my friends while not u i feel so sorri but everytime i told u tat i would try my best to do tat but don noe y i juz can"t .... it seem to be all not above my control tats wat i mean i don even noe wat am i think about.... nth can express my feeling now i am feeling so terrible ,guilty and full of regretness haiss but all this cannot be compare wif him cause his stress is much more double then mine and also nth can express my sorri towards him le but no matter wat juz wan say i am sorri for making u so sad ...... juz hope tat everything will be fine oneday and i belive tat this day will came soon de ..... btw cheer up ok i wan u to smile alot ... best wishes..... take care** cya bye bye........

my heart has nv stop beating for yoo... truly in love wif yoo